When a car crash sidelines Mickey just before softball season, she has to find a way to hold on to her spot as the catcher for a team expected to make a historic tournament run. Behind the plate is the only place she’s ever felt comfortable, and the painkillers she’s been prescribed can help her get there.
The pills do more than take away pain; they make her feel good.
With a new circle of friends—fellow injured athletes, others with just time to kill—Mickey finds peaceful acceptance, and people with whom words come easily, even if it is just the pills loosening her tongue.
But as the pressure to be Mickey Catalan heightens, her need increases, and it becomes less about pain and more about want, something that could send her spiraling out of control.
5 Stars
"I am not a wasted person. I am not prowling the streets. I am not an addict. I am a girl spinning her locker combination. I am a girl who got a B on her math test. I am a girl who has two holes on the inside of her arm, but they do not tell the whole story of me."
My first blog review is going to be on my top read of 2019. Heroine by Mindy McGinnis is a dark, heavy book that explores the dangers of drug addiction, and how it controls your life. This isn't the standard "don't do drugs" message that you get in high school. It's harsh in its reality, and heartbreaking in its honesty. I started this novel, thinking I knew what to expect, but that prologue hits hard. And that is just the start.
Heroine is about a normal girl - she may be a star athlete and part of an unbeatable softball team, but that's what Mickey is. A normal girl that got into a horrible accident, and is prescribed Oxy to help alleviate the pain. All it takes is one pill to start that spiral downwards, one small act that could happen to anyone, and then she is never the same again.
It's painful reading about Mickey and the choices she makes. She has her excuses, tries to provide reasoning for her actions, not wanting to admit to herself what she already knows. And I want so badly for someone to just see what she is going through and give her the help she needs. But Mickey is tricky and skillful in her lies. Ultimately, the decision is up to her. We all make our own choices, and Mickey makes hers, each one seemingly worse than the last.
There were several scenes that had me stopping to reread a sentence, so disbelieving of what Mickey had just done. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I was shocked and heartbroken to see Mickey fall so far, all the while justifying to herself that she needed the drugs so that she wouldn't let her mom or her team down. It may sound cliche, but the first step of recovery is admitting and recognizing the problem in the first place, which Mickey was blinding herself to.
We go from a Mickey talking about softball to doing whatever she has to in order to fuel her addiction, and it gave me whiplash. Her obsession begins controlling every aspect of her life. Being in her head, it's easy to see how and why the drugs are so attractive, and seemingly necessary. McGinnis does a fantastic job with Mickey's POV.
I felt hollowed out while reading this novel. There's the physical craving of addiction, but also a mental craving, too. Mickey feels so real to me, and it breaks my heart to see her spiraling. It's been a minute since a book made me feel this way. After reading Mickey's story, it becomes crystal clear how just one pill, just one time, can change someone’s life so completely. And that's absolutely terrifying.
Highly, highly recommend.
*Trigger Warnings: Accurate descriptions of needles and drug use
About the Author
Mindy McGinnis is an Edgar Award-winning novelist who writes across multiple genres, including post-apocalyptic, historical, thriller, contemporary, mystery, and fantasy.
While her settings may change, you can always count on Mindy’s books to deliver grit, truth, and an unflinching look at humanity and the world around us.